THE SEX lives of most adults in the West Midlands are falling flat.
According to Relate Coventry and Warwickshire, just 48 per cent of adults living in the West Midlands are satisfied in the bedroom – with the same number saying they had not had sex in the last month.
The charity put the figures, obtained as part of a nationwide survey, down to people putting too much pressure on themselves to have ‘amazing sex’ that they often avoided it altogether.
In response, Relate has released their Guide to Sex and Intimacy to get couples to think differently about intimacy in the hope of bringing the spark back into their love life.
A relationship counsellor at Relate Coventry and Warwickshire said she thought it was sad so few people in the region were sexually fulfilled.
She added: “Noticing what is going well, rather than dwelling on problems, is quite difficult when we’re all bombarded with messages about how sex ‘ought’ to be.
“Sex definitely doesn’t have to be disappointing – there’s plenty that can turn your situation around so you can enjoy a sustained, fulfilling sex life.
“What constitutes a satisfying sex life can vary wildly from one person to the next, so working out what makes you tick is a great starting point.”
Nationwide charity Relate, which has centres in Leamington, Rugby and Coventry offers information, advice and counselling for all stages of relationships, including Sex Therapy to improve sexual satisfaction and increase intimacy.
The Relate Guide to Sex and Intimacy is available from today from publishers Vermillion, priced at £9.99.
Relate Coventry and Warwickshire’s ideas for thinking differently about sex:
* Reassess what sex is: People often mean full intercourse when they talk about sex, but sex is about so much more than just penetration. Flirting, kissing, cuddling and even just feeling you look great can be sexy.
* Find your sexual balance: It’s often difficult to fit sex into busy lives, but worrying about it makes it less likely to happen. Sometimes, a reassuring or sexy cuddle may be all you have time for or need and some people are happy with very little sex. It’s what works for both of you that matters.
* Bear in mind spontaneity isn’t essential: People who come to Relate often say they want to bring spontaneity back to their sex lives but sex is rarely truly spontaneous and busy people have to plan for intimacy.
* Know it’s fine to fantasise: Some people feel it’s wrong to fantasise especially if it involves somebody else or something they’re not comfortable with . But the whole point of fantasy is it’s not real and just thinking something doesn’t mean you want it to happen.
* Feel free to cuddle in front of the kids: In the past, parents were often taught to avoid showing physical affection in front of the kids but it actually reassures them that you love one another
Visit www.relatecoventry.org for more information on the services available from Relate Coventry and Warwickshire.